Feeling trapped

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Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Oct 07, 2018 4:13 pm

Feeling trapped

Post by Livewire82 » Sun Oct 07, 2018 4:28 pm

I feel terrible admitting this but... I actually can’t wait for weekends to end.

I have 2 children. A 2.5 year old & a newborn 6 week old. I love them unconditionally but sometimes when they’re both screaming the house down, all I can think of is hate.
I’ve always been quite an independent person but now with children, especially with 2, I’m struggling with the fact I seemingly no longer have any time to myself. The weekends feel like I’m utter waste. To make matters worse, my wife, as dedicated as she is to being a mum, seems to have no zest for excitement anymore. She has no hobbies, doesn’t watch movies, doesnt listen to music, doesn’t read books, doesn’t socialise with friends.... I’m struggling to find anything in common with her at the moment. It’s not like I don’t give her opportunity to have time for herself but she just doesn’t seem interested in any of it - probably because she doesn’t have the energy for it I suppose. I’m just worried that things are going to stay this way now we have kids. Whilst building relationships with the kids is important, so is maintaining a good one with my wife. I’ve spoken to her about it before but she doesn’t seem bothered.
On the other hand, I run my own business but this takes all of my time mon-fri. I look all around me at friends who also have children & they seem to have plenty of time to themselves at the weekends. I don’t know how they do it but if they do, is there some kids of secret? I know having children changes things & affects your independence to a degree but it shouldn’t have to be neglected altogether. Am I being unreasonable to suggest that?

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Joined: Thu Oct 25, 2018 6:46 am

Re: Feeling trapped

Post by Valiant19 » Thu Oct 25, 2018 6:54 am

I know what you mean. Mine are 4 and 1 and I often struggle despite loving them a lot and having great relationships with them.

I struggle as I used to be so active. I’d always be out walking, gym, cycling or playing football. Now I have to snatch moments when I get the chance and I normally feel exhausted so it’s hard work.

In my experience, having young kids is really hard and tiring so your wife’s probably just a bit overwhelmed. It’s important to set time for yourselves. My wife and I divide Saturdays. The mornings I go off and do my thing and she gets the afternoon free. We spend Sunday’s together as a family.

It’s important to remember that things won’t always be like this. When your kids are older, you will start to get your lives back.

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